It’s so easy to make excuses when we want to better ourselves. Whether it’s working on our various Druidic study programs or exercising more, people have a tendency to put things on hold for reasons that may not always exist as legitimate obstacles.
I want to be a healthier person. I think I already eat healthier than most other people in the country, but I’m definitely a bit of a couch potato. A few years ago, I discovered that running was actually a fun way to exercise. It allowed me to spend time outside, spend time with my husband on a shared goal, and even experiment with a different type of trance. Then came some very real excuses – I became pregnant. I had an unplanned cesarean. I was a new and very tired mother. I didn’t run, or even kayak, for a couple years. I continued to eat relatively healthy, and nursing has helped me lose my pregnancy weight. That and chasing an increasingly active toddler have helped me keep off the pounds.
Yet I want more. I want to feel good about myself. I won’t nurse forever, and I want to try and maintain what I have going on! But the excuses, gosh! Work stress. Work fatigue. Need to make dinner. It’s hot. It’s cold. Too buggy. Blah blah blah.
Last night, my husband took his turn entertaining Bee so that I could have some time to myself. Me time is sacred. I absolutely must have some or I will get frustrated. Suddenly I found myself just sitting at my computer. I was wasting my time on a social network, mind you, not working on any of my Druidic studies or even maintaining the Northern Rivers page. I often catch myself using Bee’s nap time to lounge on the couch and watch shows that are otherwise too scary or mature for my little one. Sometimes I crochet or knit, but usually I just relax…
Relaxation is important, but where’s the moderation? I found myself at my computer last night, feeling a bit restless and depressed with myself.
Then it clicked – why was I just wallowing in that? There was time in the day, and the only one holding me back at that point was my sloth shadow-self.
Five minutes later, I had my sneakers on and was out the door, stretching, then walking, then running! The sun was setting, and a crescent moon grinned at me from above. My legs pumped, my heart drummed – I felt so alive! I ran with the red-winged blackbirds fluttering through the cattails. The mosquitos couldn’t catch me!
I hope I can keep it up… It made me feel so positive about myself and my life.
